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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193018">a goddamn blaze in the dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflyslove/pseuds/fireflyslove'>fireflyslove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:54:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,193</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflyslove/pseuds/fireflyslove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a gentler universe, Vanyel's Gifts manifest under less traumatic circumstances.</p><p>Or, I finally write the Tylendel-doesn't-die fic I've always wanted to write.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Vanyel Ashkevron/Tylendel Frelennye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a goddamn blaze in the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This bares little resemblance to canon! Everyone's mentally healthier, and generally more chill! Because honestly, Vanyel can't catch a fuckin' break. This fic mostly because Tylendel lives fic feat. Yfandes is what I need in my life. Also I'm DEFINITELY not about to go reread like... every Valdemar book. Oh, on that note, I haven't read Vanyel's books in... a while, so just blame the AU not the AUthor. Yeah, that's it.</p><p>Title from Taylor Swift's Ivy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He’s hot, he’s burning up, he’s… freezing, he’s cold beyond measure. There’s something soft brushing at his feet, at his hands. His head feels like it’s going to split in two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s dying, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s dying</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Tylendel felt like he might be frothing at the mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not dying,” Savil said. “The Healers are the best in the kingdom, and you know damn well they’re not going to let him die without a damn good fight first. Sit down, have a drink.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylendel threw himself into a chair, and took a long slug of wine. “It feels like </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>burning up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil waved her hand, “That’s the nature of a lifebond. It’s only unfortunate that </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>is the way we find out about that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanyel had been feeling sick for the better part of a fortnight, but it was the depths of winter, and it seemed like half the Collegium was sick. It was only when a symptom-free Tylendel had collapsed in the middle of a weapons lesson, and had been declared shipshape by the Healers, insisted that something was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that someone happened to check on Vanyel. They had found him collapsed in the bathtub, luckily after it was drained, and the Healers had bustled him off to the House of Healing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil, after checking on her nephew, had returned to the suite to find Tylendel curled up in a ball on their bed, shivering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not sick,” she had said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he had said, “or it feels like I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:Oh, oh shit,:</span>
  </em>
  <span> Gala’s voice in his head had made him sit bolt upright. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” his voice had cracked as he asked the question out loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:How did I miss </span>
  </em>
  <span>that</span>
  <em>
    <span>?: </span>
  </em>
  <span>she had said, and if she had been human, she would have been smacking herself in the forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Savil had asked, her voice concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gala just had some sort of realization,” Tylendel had said, waiting for his Companion to elaborate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil’s face had taken on the ‘listening’ look, and then her whole expression changed to something of dumbfounded surprise. “Well that makes sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will one of you tell me what’s happening?” Tylendel had demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:It’s a,: </span>
  </em>
  <span>“lifebond,” Gala and Savil had said, nearly in unison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And damn, if that </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>make sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could see it now, if he looked for it, a bright gold cord stringing between him and Vanyel. And now Vanyel was going to die. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:He’s not going to die,:</span>
  </em>
  <span> Gala said. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:Everyone keeps telling me that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,</span>
  <em>
    <span>: </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tylendel muttered dangerously.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:That’s because it’s true.:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you won’t listen to me, maybe you’ll listen to her,” Savil said. “Either way, finish that wine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylendel tipped the glass back, and gulped the contents in a few swallows. “Are you happy now, teacher-mine?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ecstatic,” Savil said dryly. “Now why don’t you try to get some sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t be able to sleep,” Tylendel said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I think you’ll find that you will,” Savil said, a sly smile on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You drugged the wine, didn’t you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil shrugged. “It’s a mild sedative.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylendel couldn’t find it in himself to be angry. He was already feeling its effects. He stood, bade Savil a good night, and as he went into his room, he found that he barely had enough energy to toe his boots off before he collapsed into his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire Palace and Collegium was awoken in the middle of the night by the buildings rocking on their foundations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>was that?” Tylendel heard someone shout out their window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was on his feet and in his boots before he was fully awake, and for some reason, he was pelting in the direction of the House of Healing. He no longer felt full of fever-fire, but instead he was full of fear and mage fire. It was like someone had set the channels of his Mage Gift on fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tylendel, stop!” Savil shouted, and it was only a gentle tug of power at his shoulder that stopped him in his tracks. “Where are you going?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Healer’s,” Tylendel panted through the pain. “That was Vanyel.” He didn’t know where the words came from, but as he said them he was sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil searched his face for a few seconds, then said, “Put your shields up. All of them. Now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did, without thinking, and suddenly the fire pain was gone. He started to lower them again, to be connected to Vanyel again, but Savil stopped him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If what I think has just happened is true, you’re going to need them,” she said. “You know what a new and uncontrolled Mage Gift erupting is like.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did, and the terror of his own Gift’s manifestation overwhelmed him for a moment. He nodded jerkily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go,” she said, and they set off at as fast a pace as Savil could manage. “I can sense him from here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” Tylendel said. “Not through my shields.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your shields are necessarily tighter than mine,” Savil said. “I’m not lifebonded to the man.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a Mage Gift?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s had the potential,” Savil said. “It’s not unusual for it to run in families, but this is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> powerful one. And I don’t think it’s the only Gift he has, just the most volatile at the moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the frantic journey through the halls was passed in silence, and their Companions met them at the door to the gardens. They swung up onto their backs with little effort. Tylendel lowered his shields, just a fraction, and the cacophony that beat at him had him throwing them back up instantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Healer Andrel met them at the doors, his face a mask of worry. “I don’t know what happened,” he said. They slid off their Companions, and followed the Healer into the corridor. “One minute he was fine, the next he was having a seizure. It’s not unusual with a fever that high, especially in young children, but not unheard of in adults. Then he was… glowing? And it felt like an earthquake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doors to the room at the end of the hall stood ajar, and their wood looked like it had been scorched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy seven hells,” Savil hissed. “All this from a sickness?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a latent Gift manifesting, then?” Andrel asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More than one,” Savil said. “Has he moved since? Woken?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrel flushed, almost in shame. “None of us have been in there, for safety.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A prudent choice,” Savil said, even as she stepped into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylendel was not prepared to see his beloved like this, his cheeks sunken hollows, hair hanging in lank hanks on his sweat-soaked forehead. All the furniture in the room was in splinters, and the plaster was cracked, the tiles shattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil knelt to where Vanyel was lying on the remains of a bed, and pressed her hand to his chest. She held the other out to Tylendel, who knelt next to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need your help to shield him,” she said. “And even then, I’m not sure it will be—” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ring of silver hooves on tiled floor interrupted her, and they looked behind them, each expecting their own Companion. But it was neither Gala nor Kellan, instead a different mare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>:</span>
  <em>
    <span>I will help</span>
  </em>
  <span>,: she said, her voice clear in Tylendel’s mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She somehow fit herself into the room, squeezing in between Tylendel and the wall, and pushing her velvety nose into Savil and Tylendel’s combined hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was effortless to join his power to Savil’s. He felt Gala as a bulwark behind him, and Kellan behind Savil. The mare’s shining presence took up the thread between Tylendel and Savil, and somehow she wrapped it out and around Vanyel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil breathed a small sigh of relief. “You can lower some of your shields,” she murmured to Tylendel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did, immediately, but still by fractions. The moment he could feel his lifebond again, it was like a soothing balm had been thrown on the fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil heaved a sigh of effort as she hauled herself to her feet. And then she blinked, looking at the Companion in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mare looked blandly back at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mare nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I’ll be half damned and twice fucked,” Savil said. “That’ll get Withern’s drawers in a right bunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Tylendel said, dragging his face away from “Vanyel’s for a second. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know who this is?” she asked, gesturing to the Companion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylendel spared the mare a glance, and then realized he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> know who she was, the only unpartnered adult Companion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yfandes, ma’am,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, she is,” Savil said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then suddenly, Tylendel put two and five together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You Chose Vanyel?” he asked Yfandes. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:Formally, no,: </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice must be Yfandes’, it was not Gala’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re talking to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yfandes snorted impatiently. </span>
  <em>
    <span>:Would you prefer I only speak to you through Gala? This is far more expedient.:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Tylendel said. “I only thought you weren’t … allowed to talk to any human but your Chosen.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:You’re not just anyone to my Chosen,: </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yfandes said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>:Besides, that rule is, at best, a guideline.:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever Tylendel was about to say was broken by Vanyel’s cracked voice, “‘Lendel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the eyes in the room, now including Andrel’s, turned to Vanyel. “I’m here, Van,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M’head hurts,” Vanyel said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylendel laughed shakily. “I’ll bet it does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” Vanyel asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a long story,” Tylendel said. “And you’re still sick. You should get some more rest.” He parroted the words he had heard a hundred times when he was sick. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to tell Vanyel everything, but Van was delirious still, he wouldn’t remember half of what was said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s there?” he said. “Someone’s… some’ne’s there…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And somehow, Tylendel heard the next words Yfandes spoke, even though he wasn’t entirely certain he was supposed to. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:I am here, my Chosen. I love you. I will never leave you.:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanyel drifted out of consciousness before he had a chance to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrel took charge of the room then. “We’re going to have to move him to a different room,” he said. “Are you going to stay with him?” Tylendel wasn’t sure if the question was directed to him, Savil, or Yfandes, but he had no intention of leaving Vanyel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am,” Tylendel said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yfandes nodded emphatically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well then we’re going to need a bigger room. Savil, will you be a dear and go see if the room four doors down is available? It’s the only one that’s both big enough and has a door to the outside.” Savil left the room, and Andrel turned to Yfandes. “Can you operate a doorknob?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yfandes snorted, but shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If she can’t, I’ll open it for her,” Tylendel said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, at least that’s settled,” Andrel said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Savil returned with the news that the room was, in fact, open. Without being asked, Tylendel scooped Vanyel up in his arms, and followed his mentor and the Healer out of the ruined room and down the hall. Yfandes took a few moments to extricate herself from the room, but her chiming hoofsteps followed them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He set Vanyel down on one of the beds in the room. It was nominally the same as all the other rooms, white plaster and calm green tiles, two beds, a small table, and a chair. There was a door to the gardens with a window in it. It was dark out there now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have someone bring a few featherbeds,” Andrel said. “I’m afraid we can’t have straw in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:Tell him I appreciate the thought, but it’s not necessary,: </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yfandes said to Tylendel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yfandes says she appreciates the thought, but it’s not necessary,” he repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well,” Andrel said, ignoring Savil’s stunned expression.  “I will have some water brought, at the least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went off to do that, and Tylendel sat on the edge of Vanyel’s bed, pushing the hair out of his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well this has been an interesting turn of events,” Savil said mildly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:There were alternate versions of this reality,: </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yfandes said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>:I do not think you would have liked any of them</span>
  </em>
  <span>.:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylendel relayed these words to Savil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s talking to you?” Savil said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Interesting times,” Savil muttered. “Well, I’m going to sleep. I’m going to stay in the next room, in case something happens, but I don’t think it will. Do try to get some sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She left, closing the door behind her. A knock on the door to the garden startled Tylendel half out of his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>:Sorry, it’s just me,: </span>
  </em>
  <span>Gala said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrel turned back up with the water he had promised, and an extra blanket for Tylendel, then leaned over to check Vanyel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think his fever has broken,” the Healer said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m certainly feeling less feverish,” Tylendel said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Andrel said. He took his leave, and Tylendel dropped the pillow onto the other bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” he said to the room, or possibly to Yfandes, whose nose was whuffling Vanyel’s hair. “I guess that’s it for the evening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blew out the candle, kicked off his boots for the second time, and rolled into the empty bed. He was asleep in seconds. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can be found under Companions everywhere @fireflyslove</p></blockquote></div></div>
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